| note, this does not mean i am prejudiced and proud. yes, i've heard the "everybody's racist" retort. you know, people say this statement with such a grandiose tone and i just want to say congratulations for that epiphany...why, i could not have said it better myself...just profound! DUH, everybody's fucking racist, dumbfuck. the thing is i'm not saying that racist "thinking" is unacceptable, but you're inviting a whole slew of problems if you think verbalizing them is okay. now that i'm sitting calmly at home, thinking over the day, perhaps i was a bit worked up from the speeding ticket i got for going 7 mph over speed limit this morning, perhaps it was the uncollaborative 3 strikes rule in my head...but i also want to say, perhaps people should curtail their stupidity before they accuse me of being a total fucking bitch! so next time you're wondering why i'm such a horrible person, please calmly remind yourself that i can only help my anger as much as you can help your idiocy. anyway, i guess there's been a lot of talk around this subject in the last few days. the first incident was seemingly innocuous...just media buzz and whatnot about that kramer dude from seinfeld repeatedly calling a couple of black hecklers the n-word and that they would have been tarred and hanged if this were a couple decades ago...first off, wtf dude. you're a standup. ppl heckle. that's what you're good for. second off, what have you been in after seinfeld? what confirmation do you have that makes you think you are so goddam good at this? your only saving grace was stupidly sliding across the hall into jerry seinfeld's apt. the second incident hit a little closer to home, because it was at home. we invited my girl cousin who had recently moved to hollywood to "make it" in her grunge rock band along with her mohawk-sporting male roommate. they had already set off the ticking bomb before they even arrived by being an hour and a half late, then they go on to insult us when my mom said something along the lines of "oh i'm sorry we don't have that many varieties of food. i hope you like it" by responding with a very flippant "it's fine". maybe it's just me but i really don't like the phrase "it's fine". it's so curt...like oh, because you're such superstars, ohhh, we're not worthy of being graced by your presence. god, get OVER yourselves morons. save the act until someone actually knows you because right now, i think it's safe to assume, (dare i say it?) no one caaaares... to add the rancid cherry to the already annoyance-dousted sundae, her fobby roommate started talking about the "fakking shitto nigaah" bums around town and "nigaah" this and "nigaah" that. around the 15th time i stopped him and said, "dude, you can say the f-word and the s-word all you fucking want. that offends me not at all. but if you say the n-word and someone beats your ass up, the police ain't gonna do shit because you're throwing around 'fighting words'. i'm just letting you know as a friendly warning." i smiled in a scarily polite manner. either he was drunk or just plain stupid...could be the combination of both, but he just kept at it. nikki sat there astutely counting the times he said it. according to her the sum was 37. dad, mom, sister, and i had one thought in unison: "well, he's a FUCKING SHIT JAP!!!" anyway, they finally went home at 1am. we didn't make any sleeping arrnagements for them because they said they weren't staying so i'm not sure if they were waiting for another offer, but i don't want stupid ppl in my house for fear of brainwave osmosis. all in all though, i surprised myself with how nice i was to everyone that night. come noon today, 4 coworkers/"superiors" (obviously only by title, not brain mass) were in the car with me on the way to lunch. first, my coworker is telling stories about mexican immigrants who have illegally and cunningly (despite their obvious obstacles in being so witty) stayed in the u.s. to get american medical care for her expected siamese twin babies and somehow was of directly causal correlation to the rise of claifornia's taxes. i said, "wouldn't you do the same if you knew that was your only hope for your baby's survival?" and her response was "well YEA if i know other ppl were gonna pay for MY actions" riiiight...so i said "you don't think that happens everyday with other ethnicities? i wonder how many white ppl are cheating the system but not given any media coverage because, guess what? it's less controversial." you wanna talk about illegal immigrants? let's talk about illegal immigrants. the aforementioned bitchass (aka my cousin's roommate) is an illegal immigrant, and he's from a wealthy family and need i say, from the most superior nation of the world--japan. but you know, people (and in this case i mean, the superior race of the rising sun) are okay with them because they're so sensible and middle-classed and just plain ol' japa-fuckin-nese. what you see here is not a dispute about moral relativity, it's about moral inconsistency. these are the same ppl who are always complaining about the whole company being racist towards the international dept and how the whities are always conspiring against "us japanese". cry you a river. we finally got to the parking lot after our wonderful 15 minute conversation, and this big truck that was parked next to the space we were pulling into had its doors halfway opened and because of today's strong winds, one of the doors flung open. luckily we didnt get hit, but the person in the passenger's seat said to the driver, "man, can you imagine what kinda doording that woulda made? you better watch out for these mexicans and their big stupid trucks." you probably know where this is headed...but here it is anyway: me: "you know, you can think whatever the hell you want, you can act however the hell you want in your own home, but don't say those things in public, please"
him: "what are you talking about?"
me: "you've been making a lot of racial comments lately and i think you should keep them to yourself."
him: "like what?"
me: "like just now and yesterday in our meeting when you were explaining how FOB means 'freight on board' in logistical terms but 'fresh off the boat' and how 'you know, those mainland chineeeese coming over and vietnamese and cambodians and those other boat people or whatever' [his words]"
him: "so? i'm just explaining what FOBs are."
me: "you seem to have been doing a good job targeting ethnicities for a very widely used slang term when in fact, by deifinition, all these [i point] japanese people would be FOBs too."
him: "you know what? stop complaining. i'm tired of hearing you complain."
me: "i'm not complaining, i'm kindly reminding you of company policy"
him: "don't threaten me. it really pisses me off when ppl threaten me."
me: "who said anything about threat? i'm warning you before HR does."
him: "well, don't warn me either."
me: "ok, do what you want if you want to be steve m. part 2 [recently fired exec]"
him: "you think steve got fired because of you? you should think twice."
me: "oh, of course not. no one cares what i say, but i'm sure HR keeps these little factoids in their secret little box hidden somewhere in their locked cabinets and uses them against whomever when they needed an excuse to fire him. i'm not a dumbass like some people and don't overvalue my worth at this stupid company." ...at which point my boss said "ok, everybody calm down."
you know, i'm not trying to be a hero. i don't think i'm the martyr for the self-righteous. i know i'm not always pc either, but it's just annoying when ppl just keep insisting about how what they're saying is somehow not offensive. one joke here and there is fine, but i mean, wouldn't you think at a director's level, that it behooves them to act within given parameters? it's stupid not to. later in the afternoon he called and apologized saying, "i realize i was not behaving in the right manner and may have hit some sensitive spots so i'm sorry okay?" i said, "well, i'm sorry it had to resort to us yelling at each other." to which he said, "you know, don't apologize. i was kind of out of line." note, i did not say i apologize for my behavior. i said i apoligize for his behavior bringing that out of me. i guess adults are smart afterall. one moment of swallowing one's pride towards an insignificant subordinate over having to sit through a mortifying few hours with HR lecturing you about "company policy" and all that bullshit that executives obviously only see as loose suggestions. and i guess when you get a homogeneous group like that from a pretty uni-race country, you tend to get cliquish. not that i'm making excuses for people. it's still wrong but i can see how that comes about. i don't watch much of tv anymore so i don't know in what terms "the others" were portrayed in nbc's lost, but proclaiming a subordinate external group, does xenophobic wonders to the in-group's morale. you know what they say, "nothing brings 2 ppl together than a common enemy"--exactly. so the major takeaway for this lengthy essay is yes, we are all proud and prejudiced, but do us all a big fucking favor next time you open your mouth...and think before you let that bigoted brain of yours make a complete ass of yourself. some sardonic hyperboles were used to maximize satire and raise
awareness and wish neither to discriminate nor offend any individuals
or groups based on race, ethnicity, sexual orienation, religion, or creed.
thank you for your understanding |
